Saturday, January 17, 2009

Super Deluxe Lazer Wash Preview

If you are so lucky to bring your car, or more likely your truck, to Laramie Lazer Wash, you will be greeted by an old man who will offer to put your money in the bill sucker upper for you. You will feel obliged to allow him this courtesy. He will then wash your headlights with a mop. This is customer service at its best, Wyoming style. This mysterious old man of Laramie Lazer Wash is truly a hero, but what is more mysterious is that he does not bowl on the bowling team that carries the name of his business.

On Monday, we face the back to back to back to back to back to back league champions, Laramie Lazer Wash. They consist of Troy "The Briefcase" Baker, Brett "Zero Cap" Baker, Cody "The Kid Wonder" Caldwell, Dell "The Godfather" Sol, and Rod "The Bear" DeBruin. They are a tour de force in the League of Bernaski, but this week, they find themselves in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar setting, sitting in 2nd place behind the best bowling team in the world, the Bowl Movements.

I will be sadly vacating the two spot this week. I will miss what has been dubbed by the international press, "The Battle for Gem City". In my place will be the Gingasaurus Rex, who comes in with an "impressive" 115 average and 94 handicap. The Lazer Wash advantange will be stretched to new heights, so the Movements will have to roll with heart and gut and gusto and passion and a bit of good fortune, too.

Ginges Khan has a lot of downside but sitting on that beefy handicap, he also has a lot of upside. Here is what I want to see upon my return. I want to be wiped from the record book. To do this, someone has to put up better than a 189 in Game 2 and more than 13 strikes for the night. I want the record thought to be unbeatable, Geoff's low game of 88, to be beaten. Gingy seems like the man to do it. I want to see at least two wins over the Dominators of Bernaski, so we hold our position at the top of the league. I want the Movements to step up to the plate. I know it will be hard when your hearts will be aching for me, but you can do it.

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