Thursday, February 26, 2009

Breakin' Some Eggs...

It has often been said that in order to make an omelette, one needs to break a few eggs. As my rookies season winds down, it is safe to say I've laid my fair share of eggs. Season 1 has not been kind and I have struggled with many of the same issues that NBA rooks experience - the bright lights, the long pro season, and the endless stream of "bowlies" (Laramie Lanes version of "groupies"). Hell, last Tuesday morning I woke up next to some nasty trailer park trashheap in Walden, CO and thought "this is not my beautiful house...that is not my beautiful wife!"

My main issue this year has been consistency. Like many rookies, some nights it is there and some nights it is not. In an effort to improve my consistency (and hide from my schoolbooks), I sought solace at the lanes for a rare Thursday matinee. I found no support from teammates (they have real jobs) so I rolled forward alone. In under two hours, I bowled 10 games. My primary goal was to develop and subsequently hone a new "gyro" ball. The straight-on approach is a bitch goddess - she giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other. As such, I wanted to practice my new style.

Initially, results were not promising. 129...103...88...83 (thank Pinneaus it was not a league night!). The low point of the day came when I broke Lane 15. Things were going so poorly I suspect the automatic-pin-setter-upper took pitty on me and gave up the game. It simply stopped working. The bowling-counter dude quickly ushered me over two lanes to #17, quietly muttering something about "if you didn't suck so bad..." As I found my rhythm on the new planks, I was blinded by a flash of light. "Ah-ha," I thought. "Finally a revelation!" But alas, it was just the bowler-counter dude and his welding-torch-wielding friend trying to summon hot metal to put back together what I had broken.

After six games, the gyro began to take hold. In my last four games, I rolled 130, 144, 160, and 140. I even had three chances at turkies (so elusive). After a few rough Mondays, I am optimistic that I will bounce back with a decent league-night performance. I am less optimistic, however, that I will be welcome back by Lane 15. Having felt the raw power of Canadian (bowling) balls, I suspect it will be reluctant to raise the protective gate the next time I roll.

That's all for now. Cuckoocachoo.


  1. Dear Geoff: Trailer park trash-heap? Is that how you think of me? I coddled your Canadian balls the best I could...I gave you all I had.

    Love Always,
    The Lane 15 Pin-Picker-Upper-Machine

  2. You'll figure it out. It takes time. You need to find your motion and hone it. Of course, this comes from a guy with a 144 average and a high league game of 193. If it helps at all, last year, I averaged 128.


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