Monday, February 9, 2009

Preview: Laramie Lanes Lounge

We have come full circle. The first ever BM Report was written on December 2, 2008. The prior night, we bowled Laramie Lanes Lounge. We were victorious, winning three of four games. In those days, we were floundering in the bottom half of the league. Today things have changed. Tonight, we will win again.

The Loungers find themselves in 1st place due to our recent slump. We are two games back. They have five team members, only four of whom I can recall. Bryan the Republican, Devin Altitude, Derek Lounge, and Double Calf Bird.

We can take these guys, and we will. If we take three, we will be tied for 1st place. If we take four, we will have sole possession of the lead.

Here is our strategy. We'll call it Rocky III. Early in the first game, we are going to struggle. They will do well. They will make good progress on erasing our handicapped pin lead. Around Frame 5 or 6, we will start to bring it. We'll start to land body blows and the occasional jab to the jaw. We'll take Game 1, but it will be close. Game 2 will be a full on brawl. It will be back and forth, blow for blow. We'll need to cinch down on the nut sack to pull this one out out, but we will take Round 2. In Round 3, Clubber Lounge will be pissed after giving away the first two rounds. Their anger will only lead to irrelevant sloppiness because there will be nothing they can do to stop the runaway BM freight train. We will be throwing southpaw hooks like mad, and they will crumble. At the end of the bout, we'll moan the name "Adrian" in a slurry punch drunk Italian ghetto accent before we go to the Ranger to get drunk.


  1. This only works if one of your team members walks in with a boom box blaring a Kenny Loggins' song. Parachute pants may help too....

  2. Kenny Loggins? Try again.

    It has to be this:

  3. Ok, that'll work. As long as you all wear those berets and walk into the alley like that. JD should probably wear a muscle shirt too.

  4. Dude, I wear one every week regardless! I am taking the VOW of Silence now.


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