Thursday, September 24, 2009

Cops Bowl While Seizing Drugs

If there is one thing I have learned after a almost ten months of blogging about bowling, it is that bowlers do not share my obsession with bowling statistics and probabilities. So, after posting two heavily math dork pieces, I will change gears for a moment. Before I do so, I will note that 4-6 months from now some kindred spirit nerd dude will find that last post and leave a comment about how awesome it is. Until then, I will just sit content having solved the kind of problem that most people will think is not worth solving. Woe is me.

So, anyway, did anyone else hear about the cops serving a search warrant in Tampa ? Here's the short version. Michael DiFalco, a suspected drug dealer was in jail. The Polk County mounties got a warrant to search his house. In the process, they discovered meth, weed, weapons, stolen property, and a Nintendo Wii. What they did not discover was that the homeowner had a surveillance camera that filmed everything they did. What did they do? They played Wii. They bowled. Apparently, they bowled for a long time. You can watch it here.

So, we could certainly dwell on the legality and professionalism of this act. We could even analyze their Wii bowling skillz or celebratory postures, such as jumping and pelvic thrusting, but no, I'd rather not. Instead, I'd like to ask two questions: 1) What would you have done? And 2) How often does this happen?

So, put yourself in this situation. You are working. You successfully complete your assignment. You are still on the clock, and you think nobody is watching. You have the opportunity to screw around. Who among us has not committed this sin? I had a moment very much like this once. I worked at an awful country club, cleaning golf clubs and picking up balls off the range. On my last day, I went down to the range in a cart with my coworker Anthony. We picked up the range balls, and then screwed around on the outskirts in our carts, skidding around in the mud, playing chicken, etc. We did not know that the boss watched us do this for 10 minutes. He fired Anthony. I would have been fired, but it was my last day. Of course, at the time I was 16. That's excusable. These are adult officers of the law. I don't find this as much shameful as funny. Imagine the shit that could be broadcast on the internet if you unknowingly had a camera on you all the time.

Now for partie deux. I am a firm believer in probabilities and the law averages. Essentially, if something has happened, it has very likely happened before. This is not always true. Records will always be set. Super rare things do happen. But it is my contention is what is rare about this particular event is not what the cops did but that the homeowner had a secret surveillance camera. So, how often does this happen, and what particular forms of entertainment do cops find appealing? For example, did 1980's cops do the same thing with Rubic's cubes or Atari's? How many times have police searched a house, found a stash of porn? Have they just ignored it? And of course, there is the age old question what did they find versus what did they report to find? One joint for evidence. One for me. Five grand for evidence. Ten grand for me. Which brings us back to question one. What would you have done?

1 comment:

  1. I've done the same thing. This one Friday morning, I didn't feel like writing a summary of radar passage rates of nocturnal migrant bird species, so I browsed and responded in a world-famous bowling blog.

    I've only been on the other end of the law enforcement camp, but I imagine there's is one of the most stressful, unappreciated jobs in the US of A. People loathe your status, shoot at you occasionally, are often smelly, and rarely thank you for doing your underpaid job well (much like the shoe sprayer at a bowling alley).

    In all; I don't mind their break. Spending a few of my tax dollars to play some Wii is an acceptable exchange for getting fecal matter thrown at you on occasion.

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