Friday, September 11, 2009

Bowling Like a Freight Train

Bernaski League hot shot bowlers, I'm calling you out. You see what that is? That's right. In preparation for the new season, it is now affixed to the left shoulder of my Bowl Movements jersey with the skill and care of a Bangladeshi sweatshop worker. I'm calling you out, Soll, the Fabulous Baker Boys, and you, too Schuster. For three years, we've seen the smirks on your faces when you have to roll against the Movements. Well, you know what? There's a bowling freight train a comin', and you better stay off the tracks. That's right, the almighty USBC has recognized me for a lifetime achievement. A 180 game. When you see my cheap iron-on patch, you will have fear in your eyes. It's no different from the skull on the stake in my front yard. It sends a clear message. It means I might (if I get really lucky) bowl a 180 again. So bring it. And could somebody please tell the Bowling Hall of Fame to stop calling me. I will give my induction speech on my own schedule.

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