Friday, November 6, 2009

In absentia

I missed this week's league night because I was in Ole Virginny. The good news is that my brother was elected to serve as the new member of the House of Delegates in the 44th District. I'm proud of the boy, and I had a good time. The bad news is that the Movements went 3-1 without me.

How could this be bad news? Well, I'm starting to feel like the Allen Iverson of the Bowl Movements. You see, every time I leave town, these guys bowl well. Granted, during the BIA, I have only missed two weeks of bowling, but both times, they have kicked ass.

The first time was on January 19, 2009. I spent that evening staying up all night playing poker and Wii in D.C. before going out the next day to stand on my toes in the freezing cold for six hours in a massive crowd to see the inauguration of our new Commander and Chief. That night, we bowled against the mighty Lazer Washers, and went 4-0. This time, again for political reasons, I was in absentia, and we went 3-1 against the Loungers of the Lanes of Laramie. In my absence, we have won 87.5% of our games. In contrast, when I have been present, we have only won 49% of our games.

I wouldn't be surprised if these guys trade me to some team in Detroit or Arlington, Texas. It's a good thing that I still have two years left on my contract.


  1. Texas.... I wonder if E.B. has any hot prospects?

  2. If I don't get my merde together soon, there's going to be a (hopefully) bloodless coup, followed by an opening for a team captain on the A Team here in Arlington. :)

  3. Tryouts are this afternoon.
    HCLC Doc

  4. See, you guys? The natives here are restless... If I don't lead the charge against the B Team on Tuesday night, you may find me and my bowling ball on your doorstep (no return receipt required).

  5. That's funny. I have actually bowled well, but I have little to show for it in terms of wins. I am a cross between the Alex Rodriguez of old (only plays well when it doesn't matter) and Allen Iverson (plays well but doesn't win). Maybe E.B. and I should just go elsewhere and start our own team of outcasts in the land of misfit toys.

  6. Yeah, Todd, a team of bowling epileptics... I could bowl a 220 one game and a 99 then next... (And I try so hard NOT to bite my tongue during my uglier seizures.)


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