Monday, December 14, 2009

Bowling Crime: Suspect believed to have shoe fetish

In late November, at Lufkin Lanes in Lufkin, Texas, a locker was burglarized. Taken was a bag containing two balls and a pair of bowling shoes. Although no one witnessed the theft, the suspect is described as young white male with a rotund beer belly and a Texas twang. The Lufkin P.D. crime profiler has studied many similar cases and has concluded that members of the public should be the lookout for either someone carrying a bag that seems unusually heavy for its size or a dude with a shoe fetish. In their press release, they state, "If you know a young white male with a beer belly who seems to wear a different pair of shoes everyday, or has a closest containing more than five pairs of shoes, please contact the Lufkin P.D. " No suspect has been named, but detectives are working around the clock to solve this heinous bowling crime.

2 comments:

  1. The people of Lufkin certainly love their entertainment systems. And, honestly, who pours mustard on a truck? Seriously?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Worcestershire sauce would be so much better.

    ReplyDelete

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