Saturday, February 6, 2010

Bowling Alley Mural Reviews: The Shell Game

Today we review the kegel mural, the Shell Game by anonymous. In the center of the piece is a hirsute nude blonde who stands askew upon a half shell of Tridacna. Carefully placed hands and hair hide many of her delicates from view. On the left half of the mural, two bird people create a strong wind of breath to prevent a second woman on the right from draping a table cloth upon the contessa of clams. The piece speaks to the conflict between nudism and prudishness waged daily upon our city streets. While normally a generous reviewer, in the case of this piece, I have few positive words to share.

The mural, painted in oils, has a quality of amateurness that is difficult to overlook, perhaps best exemplified by the askant stance of the disrobed dame, who is apparently capable of defying the force of gravitation. Furthermore, it is obvious if not unnecessary to note that bird people do not exist, having suffered extinction in 17th century Bucharest, and thus should not be rendered. The artist of this unfortunate mural will no doubt fade into obscurity as a one hit wonder, if this piece can even be considered a "hit", and whose fame will never extend beyond the lanes which don upon their masking units this tacky and forgettable object d'art. Bivalves world over should rise in protest over this demeaning rendering in which they are depicted as lowly invertebrates to be trod upon.

3 comments:

  1. Where is this? Strange motif, if you ask me?

    And WHERE do you find these murals?

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  2. This is at the Photoshop lanes in Paduca, KY, but normally, I just find them on the internets.

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  3. Your forgot to mention that no one should paint redheads. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete

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