Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bowling Mustaches: The Movement2

Heretofore, we have limited our reviews of bowling equipment to that of professionals, but there are other realms of bowling from which technical tips can be garnered. Today's bowling mustache is the Movement2, which burst onto the bowling scene on Monday in the City Championships of Laramie, Wyoming. Here are its specs:

Style: Movement2
Color: Dark Brown
Thickness: Thin
Length:Width Ratio: 5.43
Earnings: -$1,242
Titles: 0

The Movement2, often confused with the "Peach Fuzz" stache adorning the lips of junior bowlers, is ideal for those interested in worshiping false idols and in maintaining a minor bowling slump. It is proven to give its wearer false confidence. An expedient endeavor, the Movement2 can be grown in about seven days and is best recognized by weak "wrap around the lip" appearance. If you decide to attempt a Movement2, it is unwise to be seen in public without a stick, otherwise you will find it difficult to beat off the ladies who flock in from all corners of the bowling alley to request assistance in various sexual activities.

3 comments:

  1. In one word: majestic.

    In six words: the judge said five hundred feet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trust me, I have done my best to stay at least 500 feet away from everybody while sporting that push broom.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice - The earning section is awesome - we should have taken a picture of the Virginian Biker Stache - earnings also in the negative

    ReplyDelete

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