If there is one thing I have not learned, it is that words have consequences. Sure, the pen can be mightier than the sword, but I thought that was only true if the pen was duct taped to a Kalashnikov. I wondered how the Lazers, and in particular, The Briefcase, would respond to my heckling. After all, they are the only people in the Memorial League of Bernaski that actually read my nonsense. The answer? Well, it did not come to fisticuffs, but a right jab to the upper lip would have been preferable to the bowling beat down we received.
In truth, The Briefcase, aka Troy Baker, was humble and maybe a bit embarrassed. I think he would prefer not to be in the spotlight. This did not, however, stop him from going 600 on us. He did not do this alone. The younger Briefcase, also known as Brett Baker, but more commonly referred to as the attaché , did the same. Brett walked into the Lanes of Laramie, sought me out, stared me in the eyes, and said, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You wronged my father. Prepare to experience bowling death." Inigo did not fail to deliver on that promise.
So, after last week's crushing defeat, we followed it up this week with another. In fairness, I can't blame the Lazers entirely. For some reason, the Movements have returned to 2007 form. It has been an ugly thing to watch. We all are to blame, except for the Rookie who has been steady as a rock, hitting that 128 average week after week.
I have to give Troy credit. In fact, if I could, I would give him more than that. If the USBC gives awards for service, he is deserving of one. In addition to giving us a thorough ass whooping on the lanes tonight, he was actually somewhat apologetic for the situation I previously described, but there was no need for him to be. The bizarre schedule to which we have been subjected has resulted from one team leaving the league early in the season, and another joining recently. It's all by the book, and I knew that when I wrote that post. Daniele described it best when he said, "It's like we're in the American League East, and we're the the Orioles." It's just a bit of bad luck.
But here's the thing about Troy and our league. Like most bowling leagues (not that I've ever experienced another), the Memorial League of Bernaski is filled with a bunch of guys who just want to get out on Monday night and play with their balls. Did that come out right? They want to get out of their houses. They want to compete. They want to have a beer or two. Bowling is a way to forget about all of those other responsibilities in life, and a way to have a good time with good company. But a bowling league cannot exist, persist, or be successful without somebody running the show. Someone has to organize it. Someone has to have responsibilities exceeding the rolling of three games a night.
Troy has been doing this for years, no not since the Eisenhower administration as he corrected me. He actually started in the second year of the Fillmore administration. He never complains about it. He never asks for anything. I think it was last year at the end of the league when he accepted with a red face something like a $1 raise per week. Without Troy, Bernaski would not exist. The league runs smoothly and without incident. I suspect most people never think about all of the things he does behind the scenes. On top of that, I learned tonight, that he is also the Divisional Secretary. That means that he has to report a ton of info to the USBC every week.
So, Briefcase, thanks for being a good sport about my needling. Thanks for making sure the trains run on time. Bernaski would be a different animal without you, probably one stumbling around in circles on three legs. And if you don't mind me asking, how much would it cost to have you add 50 pins to each of our games every week?
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