Monday, March 22, 2010

Please somebody remind me to do this next September

So, I woke up this morning waiting for the government bureaucrats to knock on the door and ask me how I wanted to die. It didn't happen. In fact, today was pretty much like every other day that I can remember. When I opened the front door, I sheepishly looked up expecting to see the sky crashing down on my face. Nope. The sky is still holding strong. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...

I bowled my best game ever yesterday, and I came home feeling like shit about it. I bowled a 255. Yes, 255. I have bowled many games that are less than one half of that score. That's two hundred and mutha fuckin' 55 pins, and I'm pissed off.

So, the Rookie calls me on Sunday morning and asks me if I want to roll a few games. This is like asking a dog if he wants to eat steak with cheese and butter on top of it. I pick him up, and we go down to the lanes. In the first game, I throw down a 232. What's gotten into me lately? I don't know. Anyway, we bowl three more. Halfway through game 4, our buddy Dooley shows up and asks if we want to bowl in the Bud Light League.

Again, the dog has been asked "Would you like to eat a sausage pizza with pepperoni, hamburger, extra cheese, and bacon?" I talk Gingy into doing it with me. It is a handicapped league. It costs $12. The handicap is 100%, so we actually had a very good chance to compete. They used our averages from the end of the year. Mine was a 165; the Rook, like a 128. Anyway, by the time this league started, the Rook and I had already polished off a pitcher of bowling juice. We were rolling with strangers in strange conditions on fresh oil, something we never do in Bernaski. If you placed in the top 3 in the Bud Light League, you got paid that day. If you placed in the top 4, you qualified for a tournament at the end of the league, like six weeks from now.

So, Game 1 starts, and I just tear up some damn pins. So does Gingy. Strike after strike after strike. I ended with nine strikes, two spares, and a score of 255. Ging finished with like a 197. I tried to explain to the people around me that I have no idea what just happened. That's my best game ever by 22 pins. They don't believe me until I follow that up with like a 147. I end the day with a 585 series. This is really good for me. In fact, it's probably my 3rd best series ever. For the record, here's the two plus double nickels:


I waited for the standings to be tallied; there were like 35-40 bowlers competing. Here's the short story. The Rookie also went off. In fact, he came in 4th with his near 200 in the first. The Rook qualified for the tourney! I missed qualifying by one stupid pin!!! Now, if I want to return to that league to try to qualify again, I have to bowl with the average I established this week. Do the math. Three games. 585 pins. Yeah, now my average is a 195! WTF? This is exactly what happened to me at the beginning of this season in Bernaski. Once again, I am being punished for bowling really well. Please somebody remind me to sandbag next time I enter a bowling league. This is fucking ridiculous. To equal my performance from this week next week, I would have to bowl a 675 series!!!! Oh well, so much for Bud Light league. It was fun for a day.

And congratulations to the Rookie! He should have had a 200 game in the 1st but choked. Still, he bowled his ass off and qualified for the tourney. At least one of us had luck on our side. And also, here's a congrats to Cody Caldwell, the Kid Wonder, who had a perfect game in the 2nd. Cody, you screwed me over, too, but great game, my friend!

15 comments:

  1. Like dude, WTF? I bowled the series (614) and game (254) of my life last night and you can't even let me bask in the glory for one day? Wonderful.

    But seriously, 255 is NICE. WTG to you and the Rook. Now I have something else to shoot for and trust me you'll be the first to know when I break your 255.

    Having said that, I hope your blog still exists 3 years from now lol

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  2. No shit? That's funny. Way to go on the 614. That makes two of us who have some catching up to do.

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  3. By the way, a 675 series is not out of reach for those of you with 195 averages.

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  4. Yeah, that's me. that 195 average fits me as a well as a Pope costume. have I mentioned lately how much I hate how averages are calculated in bowling.

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  5. I am right there with you. Not only did I spoil another chance at my two hundred game -leaving open three easy frames and the last with only 7 pins for a 198 - but I also have have a 160 average for this league. So this weekend was probably my only chance to get some cash - now for the next two weeks I have donate 24 bills to Caldwell, who will probably win the torunament. But on the bright side it was nice to Caldwell roll the perfect game - counting the before and after games he rolled 19 straight strikes - pretty impressive! So Todd, 195 average or not - I hope you still bowl with me two more weeks, you will qualify so you can give Cody more money.

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  6. You can get some cash in the tourney. Now that you have qualified, I would make a point of averaging around 20 pins a game. I am starting to feel like sandbagging is a long standing tradition in bowling.

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  7. Hey thank you. I was trying to heed your advice when I shot that 255.

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  8. Hate to say it but the bar has been raised again; I got a 278 yesterday (599 series) at our Star of the Month roll-offs. I should retire now before regression to the mean kicks in.

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  9. Holy shit, MD! I think you have been drinking the same juice Mark McGuire used to know and love. I'm guessing you had at least seven in a row and probably eight or nine. That's f'ing ridiculous. Nice work.

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  10. Thanks dude. Opened with 2 strikes, 9/, 8 strikes in a row and a 9 to finish. Don't know if I can ever top that, it was surreal.

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  11. Wow. So, you were two strikes from perfect. If you X'd the bonus ball, you would have finished with 279. That's one hell of a game. Congrats.

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  12. Good score/series, MD! The most strikes I've ever gotten in a row is 7 (no, obviously not this season)... Now if I can just string two together, I do a little shimmy on the deck before stepping back into the pit...

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  13. Thanks. It was like all I had to do was drop the ball anywhere on the hardwood and it would hit the pocket. I knew I needed 157 for a 600 series and totally choked on the last game.

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