Monday, March 1, 2010

Scratched Vinyl and the Art of Sulk

I could recap the night's bowling, but it would sound much like a scratched record. For you kids out there who have no idea what I'm talking about, you see once upon a time, sounds were recorded as patterns of ridges and troughs in grooves on vinyl discs which were converted to sound when a needle... Oh, never mind.

Instead, I'll just write a script for the Briefcase to read during the annual awards ceremony.

Briefcase: Last and least in the Memorial League of Bernaski for the 2009-10 season, it's the Bowl Movements! With a grand total of 20 wins, we are dispersing to the Men in Black (and red) a total of twelve bucks! [Wait for applause.] They set new records for the fewest pins recorded by any team and the most 1-3 outings ever seen in a single season! They nearly set a record for 0 and 4's as well. Back in September, they started the season at an 11-1 pace, so no one could have predicted what was to follow. It has truly been a season to forget. Despite their inability to roll a ball sixty feet and hit a stationary target, they have been a welcome addition to the league. When a team is in need of a pick me up, a match versus the Movements is sure to turn your fortunes around, and for that, we are grateful.

3 comments:

  1. You are not alone, brothers... Team Holy Cross feels your pain.

    One day, Todd, you and/or I will shock the blog world and write about about success on the lanes-- I feel it! (My spider-sense is tingling...)

    Never say die!

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  2. I'm still holding out for a much- deserved Miss Congeniality award....

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  3. I think the problem is that we need you to bowl again, K-Terk. I think the last time we had a good night, you were there.

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