Monday, March 1, 2010

Scratched Vinyl and the Art of Sulk

I could recap the night's bowling, but it would sound much like a scratched record. For you kids out there who have no idea what I'm talking about, you see once upon a time, sounds were recorded as patterns of ridges and troughs in grooves on vinyl discs which were converted to sound when a needle... Oh, never mind.

Instead, I'll just write a script for the Briefcase to read during the annual awards ceremony.

Briefcase: Last and least in the Memorial League of Bernaski for the 2009-10 season, it's the Bowl Movements! With a grand total of 20 wins, we are dispersing to the Men in Black (and red) a total of twelve bucks! [Wait for applause.] They set new records for the fewest pins recorded by any team and the most 1-3 outings ever seen in a single season! They nearly set a record for 0 and 4's as well. Back in September, they started the season at an 11-1 pace, so no one could have predicted what was to follow. It has truly been a season to forget. Despite their inability to roll a ball sixty feet and hit a stationary target, they have been a welcome addition to the league. When a team is in need of a pick me up, a match versus the Movements is sure to turn your fortunes around, and for that, we are grateful.


  1. You are not alone, brothers... Team Holy Cross feels your pain.

    One day, Todd, you and/or I will shock the blog world and write about about success on the lanes-- I feel it! (My spider-sense is tingling...)

    Never say die!

  2. I'm still holding out for a much- deserved Miss Congeniality award....

  3. I think the problem is that we need you to bowl again, K-Terk. I think the last time we had a good night, you were there.


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